📊 Mark 10:45 | The Kitchen Test

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Happy Tuesday, {{first_name | everyone}}!

Some truths are easy to agree with in church and hard to live out in your own kitchen. After a bit of commentary on Mark 10, I’ll share a personal story of what this has looked like in my marriage.

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In today’s email…

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For even the Son of Man came not to be ______ but to _____, and to give his ____ as a ______ for ____.

Mark 10:45

By Mark chapter 10, Jesus is close to Jerusalem, and he has just told the disciples for a third time that he’s going there to be killed.

Their response?

James and John pull him aside and ask for the two best seats in his glory:

When the other ten hear about it, they’re furious, probably because they wanted those seats too.

So Jesus gathers them and turns the world’s understanding of greatness upside down:

Then he grounds the whole thing in himself.

This is the pattern of his own life, and he’s about to prove it on a cross.

Greatness in God’s kingdom is measured by sacrificial service.

That sounds clean on paper. But it gets a lot more uncomfortable when it shows up in real life, in real situations, at home.

A year or two into my marriage, something became obvious that I had managed to hide from myself for a long time. I expected to be served.

I was quick to be waited on and slow to sacrifice, unwilling to do the ordinary, inconvenient things that love actually requires.

On the outside I was a “nice guy.” But underneath it, there was a selfish expectation that others should be willing to sacrifice what they want so I can get what I want.

If I’m honest, the very subtle belief running in the background of my heart was this: it's all about me.

If you had asked me if I believed that back then, I would have said no. But functionally, I was living as if it were true.

Thankfully, marriage gets close enough to expose things like this.

The turning point was a conversation in the kitchen with my wife where she asked me to do something simple. I really did not want to do it even though it would have meant a lot to her.

I complained and resisted, which led to my wife expressing frustration. And finally, in that moment, I realized how selfish my default posture was.

I started to see the pattern everywhere in my life to the point where it overwhelmed me to tears.

I repented to her, asked her to pray for me, and asked God to give me a new heart.

That change has been the Spirit’s slow work ever since.

📖 Read Mark 10:32-45.

Where do you quietly expect to be served, and who feels it most? Name one ordinary thing you could do today for that person, the kind of thing you’d normally dodge because it’s a little inconvenient.

🙏 Pray

Lord, I confess how easily I crave being served. Shape my heart to value what you value. Give me joy in serving the people closest to me, even when no one notices and it costs me something. Give me eyes to see the chance today. Amen.

Test what you remember from the chapter:

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Mark 10:45